What I've Learned

Well, in one day I will have been a Mom for 4 months to the sweetest boy I could have ever imagined. Here's a few things I've learned thus far:

- Being a Mom is awesome. Way more awesome than I thought it would be. I'd heard how 'rewarding' people thought motherhood was but I heard a whole lot more about how hard it would be, how my life would never be the same, how I needed to kiss my life as I know it goodbye, blah blah blah. But what I didn't hear enough of is how motherhood is complete bliss. I want my friends that are expecting babies to know that. I know, it's so scary to realize you have a little person that is going to completely dependent on you but really, it is all worth it. My little Hudson needs me. He needs me for food. He needs me to make him laugh. He needs me to get him snuggled and ready for bed. He needs me when he's sad and wants to feel better. And you know what? I need him right back. It's pretty dang hard to have a bad day when I wake him up in the morning and he gives me a huge open mouth grin.  I live for his little guy now, morning and night, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

- Being a mom is dang hard too. I wouldn't say that it is the hardest thing I've ever done necessarily, but it's definitely work. Constant entertainment to keep the baby distracted from fussing is hard work. Keeping track of feeds, diapers, medicine and nap times is hard work. Rocking a 14 lb baby (I know, he's only going to get bigger!) to sleep while he is fighting me is hard work. But, it is by far the most rewarding work I've ever done.

- Baby poop stains. Suuuper bad.

- Part of me misses Hudson being his tiny little peanut self. And the other part of me loves to watch him grow and learn new things. I just wanted him to stay little forever when he was first born but the more time I spend with him watching him grow and develop his little personality, the more excited I am for what is to come.

- Don't listen to everyone's advice. What works for someones baby might not work for yours. I remember being told 'you're the Mom and you'll know what your baby needs'. I totally thought that was a load of crap. I've never done this before! How am I just instinctively going to know what my baby needs?? But seriously, it's so true. I know my Hudson better than anyone else. When he would fuss some people would say he was definitely hungry so I would feed him. Not because I thought he was hungry, but because I felt that surely my instincts must be wrong because these women have kids of their own already. What do I know?! Those extra feeds, which I know now, were filling his little tummy up too much and making his bad acid reflux even worse. I know those lovely ladies were just giving me the advice they thought was best but I wish I'd followed my instincts sooner.

- There is a reason God made it so we all have a Mom and a Dad. I can say this because of two reasons. One, because I placed my little girl for that exact reason. She deserved two parents from the get-go. I know I would have been the best Mom I could have been for her, but I didn't want to have to be the best Dad too. The other reason I'm sure of this is because of the time Nick has been away since Hudson was born. He was here for a week, left for two months, has been home for two months, and leaves again for two more months next week. I feel like I've been the best Mom I could be for Hudson. He didn't really have a chance to get to know his Dad when he was first born so he and I bonded and have been so close. He needs me. But the second I saw him with Nick in Texas it made me realize how much he needs his Dad. There is just something about the immediate bond those two have had that is amazing to see. It's like Nick was never gone. Hudson and I are home during the day while Nick is at work. Hudson will be lounging in the living room with me and the second he sees his Dad after work he completely lights up! Big smile, giggles, and all. It melts my heart to watch and I know it completely melts Nick's too.

- For me, not taking the advice of always-sleep-while-the-baby-sleeps has been good for me. Hudson has always been a great night time sleeper. I'm sure that if he hadn't been I'd be preaching the opposite right now. But his naps are when I have been able to catch up on my 'me' time. Like right now. My me time doesn't always include something fun like blogging or sewing. A lot of the time it's cleaning and laundry but hey, getting it all done while he sleeps means two things. It means it actually gets done much quicker and it also means I don't have to be distracted when he is awake. I can just play and giggle with him and not leave him on the couch while I run around the house getting stuff done. This brings me to my next point.

- I know that I am never going to get this time back with my little Hudson. I'm definitely not perfect, and I know I'll make mistakes, but I am really trying to not be a distracted mother. I don't want my kids to ever think that a clean house is more important to me than playing with them. I don't want them to think I'd rather be on the computer than reading them a book. I want them to know that they are my number one priority and that I'll drop anything for them. A quote that's really resonated with me is "Motherhood is not a hobby. It is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." How true that is.

-I don't need as much sleep as I always thought I did.

- Love your husband. Mine has dealt with a lot. Hormones, distance, lack of sleep, working ... the list goes on. (I've got a post coming next week all about my sweet Nick) Being a Dad is hard work too. Women are blessed with the gift of nurture and love. For most guys I feel like it's something that takes a little more work. But for Nick, he has been wonderful. He's a diaper changing, baby soothing, entertaining, laundry doing, dish washing, and encouraging Dad. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for better. I'm one lucky gal.

-Last but not least, I've really come to appreciate and embrace the gospel. I'm so incredibly grateful for my knowledge of eternal families and what that means to me personally. It's helping me to be a better mother and given me guidelines and goals to work towards with my little family. I am so grateful for the perspective it's given me on how important my role as a mother is. It's given me more self confidence and self worth in who I am and the work that I am doing. It is still amazing to me that God has trusted me with such a sweet spirit to raise and teach the best that I can. There's a conference talk titled "Because She Is A Mother" by Elder Holland. In it it says
"It is clear that some of those Rhode Island-sized shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well, The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that you giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make  in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do."
I don't know about you, but that makes me feel that I'm doing alright. I might not be perfect, but I'm doing alright.