Meet The Chadwicks

I feel bad having another downer post to share with you guys. But then I was thinking, I'm not perfect. No one is. I read a friends post the other day about how tough things are for her right now and I actually found it really refreshing. I don't want to find myself only talking about positive things and not writing about who I really am and how life really is. I've got a feeling that this is going to be a little bit of a rambling session but you know, those are pretty therapudic sometimes. Lets begin.

I think that if I start with my Facebook status you'll understand a lot about my problem.

Dear St George, Work, and School,
I hate that you are making it so that the time I'm not with Nick far exceeds the time that I am. Seriously its getting a bit tough to handle. Newlyweds should feel smothered, not lonely. At least I think that's how its supposed to work. Anyways, maybe you could lighten up a tiny before I start forgetting what my own husband looks like. Just think about it.
            Sincerely,
                  Little miss discouraged

And there you have it. I am someone who needs lots of quality time with my husband I guess. Call me crazy. I can't handle this being away from eachother. Nick left Wednesday for St. George to umpire. He'll be back tomorrow afternoon but of course, I won't be there. I work till midnight. I'll come home, kiss a sleeping husband that I haven't hardly seen this week goodnight, and fall asleep. Then we'll wake up, do a little cleaning, eat, and go to work. We'll both be back around 11 which means it's bedtime again and on to another packed schedule week. I know that this is how it has to be right now for Nick and I to both accomplish our career goals and to have the lifestyle we want for our family together but sometimes it's really hard to keep that in mind. Nick works so hard for us and I don't want to discredit that in any way but I just wish we could match our schedules up when he works so hard.

I would have done anything to get to go to St. George this weekend. It wouldn't have been for the baseball, or the warm weather, or the chance to swim outside, but just because it would be away. I feel like everyone around me is having fun or at least traveling beyond a 40 mile radius and I'm just here doing the same dang thing every.freakin.day. If you are thinking "Well Sadey, that's life" then I have to disagree. I think the people that are truly happy are the ones who can be spontaneous. Want to know what my spontaneous has been lately? It's so lame. Having dinner planned in my head then deciding I don't want to cook and grabbing Cafe Rio. Or the other day I even spent some money on a random scrub shopping spree. You know, the scrubs I wear to work. My shopping trip can't even escape work!

All I have to say is that I owe my sanity this weekend to the Palmers. Wednesday night, as you all might already be aware of because you read about it, I was super lonely. Those two invited me over for some hamburgers and a little CSI. Just what I needed. Then the next day I met up with Sarah for some jewlery shopping and Spoon Me (as in the frozen yogurt place in Provo). That Dulce de Leche topped with a whole carton of raspberries topped with mini chocolate chips topped with caramel was just the right thing. You might be thinking calories. I'm thinking I want more :)

I know things will bet better soon. Okay, I don't know that things will get better soon, but I do know that things will get better someday. And I think I can live with that. Sometimes I just need to feel upset and bummed and not act like things are okay all the time. Because that just isn't real life.

I'll get out of this ruthole soon (Yes, I just made up a word while I was typing and I'mpretty sure it's aweseome. It kinda sounds like butthole which makes it more funny, don't you think? Sidetracked? I think so! ) Sorry about that ... Anyways, I'll get out of this ruthole and life will go on but for now, I just feel like owning how I feel and blogging it of. Thanks for hanging in there with me. This Little Miss Discouraged is off to bed. Until next time!