Not Exactly What I Had Planned

Monday turned out to be a crazy day, even though your Dad and I weren't planning on it. Your Dad had the day off so we had scheduled an appointment to go up to the Air Force base in Salt Lake and get my military ID. On our way up we got an email from the recruiter that has been helping Dad get signed up. Attached to the email was dates for his BMT (Basic Military Training, more commonly known as Boot Camp) and Tech School (training for his specific job). The iPhone wouldn't pull up the attachment because it didn't recognize the type of file. So after out appointment (your Mom and her placenta brain forgot their marriage license so we didn't even get the ID done for me!) we walked over to Kelly's office to pull up the email and print off the dates. We were hoping that since there wasn't a tech school available until next year the Air Force would let your Dad split up his BMT and Tech School. When we pulled up the e-mail we realized that they had opened up more tech schools which means they won't let him split and he has to do them together.

Your Dad and I were faced with two choices. Neither of which were easy to make. Kind of a lesser or 2 evils kind of thing. Option one is your Dad leaving this summer just after you are born and he will be gone for 4-5 months. The other option is for him to leave now and get back just after you are born. See what I mean by neither decision is an easy one? I told your Dad that I would support him no matter which choice he made. We decided to list the pros and cons for him leaving right now. Here is what we came up with:

Pros:
- He would do BMT in the spring instead of the dead of summer (BMT is in Texas) which would only make the physical job harder
- By the time you are born he would be in the last phase of tech school which means a lot more freedom. During BMT we only get one phone call in 9 weeks. With tech school he will be basically learning from 9-5 then will have his cell phone, his own room, etc. to be able to call us and video chat with his handsome little man and lovely wife!
- While he is gone the insurance switches to TriCare Prime which is for active duty (while he is gone he is considered active duty). The importance of this means that delivering you is 100% covered! You would be a freebie!
- While your Dad is gone he would make about the same amount he is working every month but on top of that our housing is paid for while he is away. It would help a lot especially with me being out of work.
- I don't know how I feel about being basically a single mom for 4-5 months. At least if he left earlier he would only be gone for 4ish weeks after you are born. Four weeks sounds much better than 4-5 months.

Cons:
- He is gone during this pregnancy. As we all know, it's been a little rough when it comes to my back and being sick with a cold, flu, headache, or some sort of infection all the time.
- He will miss the delivery of not only his first born but of his first son. And his first few weeks.

So little man, as you can see, even though it is a tough decision and not one is easy, we had to make the best one for our family. And that is to have your Dad leave earlier. I can't even describe to you how much it breaks my heart to even think about it. I'm actually tearing up as I type this (And as you kick the crap out of my tummy. You must be a little sad too).

I have had this picture of what delivering a baby of my own would be like. I would be pushing so hard and your Dad at my head helping me to stay calm and wipe the sweat from my forehead. I imagined them laying you across my chest and your Dad and I immediately crying because we were so happy to meet you. I imagined him kissing me as they pulled you away to weigh you and put on a diaper. I imagined them handing you back to me and I look up at your Dad knowing that our lives had just forever changed and in that instant, we would realize we weren't just a family of 2 anymore. Can you tell that I have though a lot about this moment? Well bud, on Monday I had to come to terms that this wasn't going to happen how I had planned all along at all. I realize now that things are going to look a lot different. Your Dad is going to be in another state. As hard as it is I am so proud of your Dad. I'm not mad at all. I know he is doing what he needs to do not just for our family, but for our country, and that is something to be proud of. My heart breaks knowing that he won't be there to see your first breath. He won't be there to see what I will go through to bring you into this world. He won't be there during your first bath. He won't be there to carry you into our home for the first time. He won't be there in the middle of the night to help me at home when you cry for your first few weeks. There are about a hundred things that break my heart knowing in won't be there for but you know what? There are a billion more things I know he will be there for for the rest of your life. He will be at every baseball game, school concert, father and sons outing, and primary program. I know he will put a bandaid on every scraped knee, kiss every tear away, and visit every park with you within miles of wherever it is we live. He will be there whenever you need him, and even when you think you don't. I know he will be your friend, support system, confidant, counselor, and partner in crime. He is such an incredible brother, son, friend, and husband and I know he will fill the role of Dad with just as much passion and care.

We aren't for sure on the dates he will be leaving but for right now it is looking like he will leaving middle of February and be back at the end of June. I am finding myself trying to be tough and strong because I know it hurts your Dad to see me sad. And the rational side of me knows this is best but the emotion side of me just wants to curl up in bed and cry for a little while. Aside from right now the only time I cried was in Chick-fil-et after we left the base on Monday. Your poor Dad. One second I'm enjoying my chicken nuggets and the next I am reaching for our stack of napkins trying to wipe all the mascara that was running down my cheeks. I was inconsolable for a few minutes, took a deep breath, wiped my tears away, blew my nose, and finished my lunch. Since then I've tried to be strong for me and your Dad. I can tell he is doing the same. Since we've found out though I can tell out dynamic has changed. We've realized that we are working against a date that is going to come faster than we can believe. I'll be making lots more special meals over the next couple weeks, he has been much more cuddly and treating me even more like a princess than he already does, and he is paying even more attention to you than normal. The past 2 nights he has rolled over just before he's completely asleep, put his hand on my belly to feel you kick, and then falls asleep. It's not always the most comfortable position for me to sleep in but I don't have the desire or the heart to move. He sure loves us bud. We are lucky to have him to take care of us.

I know this post is a little bit long and contains a whole lot of emotion but I want you to know about this time in our lives. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

Week 23 and 24

 Hey little man. The last couple weeks have flown by and I totally forgot to post last week! On Thursday of last week we got to see you again! The doctor did an ultrasound and measured all sorts of things. He looked at my placenta to make sure it looked healthy and in the right place. After that he measured parts of your brain, mouth, kidneys, bladder, heart, legs, boy parts, and counted 10 fingers and 10 toes. The doctor laughed because you wouldn't stop wiggling! I could have told him that would happen because you sure are the wiggliest little man! I love it. The doctor actually made a DVD of the ultrasound for us so I get to watch it whenever I want at home! We showed some of the Stika's and Chadwick's and they just melted over you. I've watched it most every day for the past week. It never gets old seeing your tiny self all tucked up tight in my belly.

I was looking at baby pictures of your Dad and I last week wondering who you would look like. Here is a baby picture of both your awesome parents!

No matter who you look like you are going to be adorable! And perfect! 

This next picture is a little freaky! My belly looks so weird when I lay down and I just had to send your Dad a picture the other day. Naked pregnant bellies look goofy to me but I just had to share this with you too! You are sure making some major changes to my body! 

Lately I had done a lot of TV watching. I got oober sick of it so I decided to start doing some reading. Scott and Sarah introduced me to a series called Children of the Promise. I LOVE them! Once I finish them I decided I'll be going to get a library card and doing some more reading! Pretty soon I'll be reading some books to you!

Last week I finally got an MRI ordered from workers comp. Your Dad and I went to American Fork Hospital to get it done. I am a little bit claustrophobic and being in that MRI machine sure brought that out. I just closed my eyes and could feel you wiggle and squirm and tried not to think that I was in a big tube. Sorry to tell you I don't think your Mom will be going down the tube slides with you when you get older. They freak me right out! Your Dad will have to step up and take that job over. 

Here is your growing Momma and you at 23 weeks pregnant! Gosh we look big don't we! Sometimes it's a little hard to see myself getting so big in the mirror but then in that exact same instant I remember that my size getting bigger means my handsome little man is growing bigger too!

On Saturday it was your cousin Ayden's birthday. Your Dad, Uncle Ryan, and I took the trek out to Roosevelt. Ayden was sure a happy boy! We ate pizza, fruit, and yummy fruit dip. Then Ayden opened up his birthday presents. He was so cute and excited about everything. When we told him the present was from us he kept thinking that meant it was for us so he would try giving everyone their presents back. Such a polite little guy! We kept trying to explain that they were FROM us and FOR him but I don't know if he really understood until we all left and the presents stayed. After that it was cake and ice cream time! Your Dad decided to tease Ayden. He told him to smell the cake. When his face got really close Dad shoved his face in it! Ayden thought it was so funny and when he laughed, green frosting came shooting out of his nose! It was so cute and made me so excited to see your Dad interact with you. He LOVES kids and is so great with them. I've got a pretty good feeling that you guys are going to be the best of friends.

The drive home from Roosevelt was terrible! It was snowing and the roads were really scary. We had a dinner planned with Grandma and Grandpa Stika and Savannah at the brick oven in Provo. I was texting your grandpa and this is how part of the conversation went:

Isn't that just so sweet. He is so excited to meet you and play with you. A lot of people are. You sure are loved already little man! (P.S. I blurred out your name because I'm trying to keep it a little down low! Only a family and a few friends know. I call you by your name all of the time though unless I'm typing on this blog about you :) Everyone will get to find out when you get here!) 

On Sunday we were at Grandpa and Grandma Stika's house just like we are every Sunday. When we were watching a movie I realized how dry and cracked my heels were. It'd been driving me crazy for a little while but I decided I couldn't take it anymore! Grandma and I decided to give each other pedicures. We soaked our feet in warm water and now we have smooth heels and pretty toes! It is definitely going to have to happen a little more often. I love my feet being massaged! Just not tickled. That is one thing I probably hate the most!

And now today is Tuesday. And we are at the 24 week mark! I can't even believe it! Your kicks are starting to hurt a little! I'm a little worried how it's going to feel when you are even bigger and stronger! Yikes! 

Yesterday, Monday, was a pretty important day for our little family but I'm going to write about that in the next post. It's important enough to deserve a post all of it's own.

Nick's Slip Up's!

 This week was an exciting week. Miss Ella Rose made her arrival and I got to meet her! Beth and Kelly adopted their fourth little one on Monday. I went over Wednesday afternoon to meet and cuddle her. Oh I was in heaven! She is such a sweet little thing! It was so fun to hold such a new little one and thinking that there was one of those in my tummy too. I could feel you kick as I held her and couldn't help but think about how soon I get to hold you. In only 19 weeks your dad and I get to hold you close and look at that handsome sweet face of yours. I'm so excited!  I drooled over Ella Rose for a while and talked to Beth for a few hours. It was so much fun. I sure love that Beth. She's the sister I never had. Pretty sure she will be loving on you just as much as I love that little Ella.

On Thursday I went over to Mollies for some girl time. With my back hurting I can't do my normal things to get out of the house like working and going to the gym so she decided to help with my sanity. We ordered Chinese, talked, and played with this handsome little guy for a few hours. It was so fun to catch up with Mollie and play with Cooper. He is a little over a year old and is such a little character. He likes to tease and knows how to make you laugh. I can't wait to see you develop and grow like I've got to see him grow up over the past year. 

On Thursday night your Dad, Grandpa Stika, and I went to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner. Chubby's! We ate some suuuper yummy food and got a lot of laughs. While we were there we found Uncle Taylor's picture on the wall. Chubby''s has a Chubby's challenge. It's something like 2 1/2 lb hamburger patty's sandwiched in between 3 grilled cheeses and a pound of fries. If you eat it in under 15 minutes you get it for free. How gross does that sound?! Taylor didn't quite make it but he did get his picture on the wall of shame haha Seeing his picture sure made me miss that boy. 

Speaking of Uncle Taylor, Grandma Stika sent me this picture of him. I don't know who sent it to her but it's him helping with the wards canning project I believe. Doesn't he look so happy?! I know it's hard for him to be gone and away from his family but I have no doubt he is where he is supposed to be. He is such an amazing young man. I'm gaining more and more of a testimony of how amazing missions are and what a blessing they are for not just the missionaries, but for their families as well. 

On Friday we had a BBQ with a few close friends. There was LOTS of elk meat to be eaten. Your Dad grilled up some yummy elk burgers and steaks to go along with my homemade baked beans (which of course, had ground elk meat). Mollie made a DELISH peach cobbler for dessert with some vanilla ice cream. I meant to take some pictures but all I took was a picture of this cute thing, of course!

After we all let the food settle a little bit we played a few rounds of a game who's name I can't remember! It was kinda like the game telephone but in pictures. It was SO funny! Your Dad and I are pretty dang lucky to have such a fun group of friends. It feels sometimes like we are almost outnumbered by all the babies running around. Can't wait to bring you along to join in on the baby fun! 

Saturday was a lazy day at home, which I was so not opposed to. As I'm sure you are well aware, your Dad is a huge sports fan. Anything to do with sports or politics, he knows about it! :) Anyways, there was a playoff game on Saturday that the Broncos were playing in. Since your Dad served his mission in Colorado he knows a whole bunch of Bronco fans. Matty McPherson brought over a couple pizzas and joined us for the game. It was so much fun to have him over. Probably even more fun for me to watch these two stress out with a close game in overtime! Even though the Broncos didn't win, it sure was a whole lot of fun! 

I'm sad I have to post the next couple of pictures. Yes, your mother got sick. You have been extra wiggly since I got sick and I think I figured it out. My coughing is so ridiculously loud and belly shaking that it must freak you right out! :) Okay, maybe that's not why, but if I had to hear these coughs from inside my belly, it would sure freak me out. It took your Dad 2 and a half days to get over his cold. Here I am on day 4 with no end in sight. Fingers crossed this fever dies down and my cough gets a little less 'coughy'. I'm surprised I haven't ruptured any blood vessels yet! 

This is me at yet another doctors office for my back. No one else deserves catching this cold so I wore the mask in hopes of keeping my germs all to myself. Nothing really new to report from this doctor but he did order an MRI. CT scans and X rays aren't safe while pregnant but MRI's are so hopefully we will get some answers soon! Work Med has to approve the MRI so we have to wait about a week until I can schedule it but we will get the ball rolling with that soon. The specialist did say though that since it is so painful for me to bend forward and bending back relieves the pain a little it sounds like it's a herniated disk. But he would expect more pain in moving my legs with that as well so in that sense, it might not be. We will just have to wait and see! 

Last but not least, here's a picture of your hot momma this week. After taking this picture it really hit me that this pregnancy is just flying by! Yes it's been hard on me as far as my whole back thing and sickness thing goes but I really have loved everything about being pregnant. How about I talk a little more about my pregnancy so far!

• As of this morning I have gained 4 and a half lbs. It sure looks like a whole lot more than that to me but hey, I'll take it!
• My cravings seem to be different every day but one thing I am always craving: McDonald's root beer (trust me, root beer from anywhere else just isn't the same!) The other thing that's been pretty consistent is Blueberry Eggo waffles. I eat them every single day. No fail. They're just so yummy! Other random cravings over the past week has included ice cream, chocolate milk, dried mangos, and chicken nuggets. See? No rhyme or reason, just random foods that aren't super great for either of us! Go figure!
• You probably don't want to hear this from your mother but it's one of my biggest complaints: My boobs! They are getting so big! Tomorrow is going to be bra shopping day if I feel good enough because I just can't wait any longer! I've always been well endowed but I feel like they're a little out of control. But hey, I guess my body knows what I needs to do to get ready to take care of you so, I will try to not complain :)
• Since I've spent a lot of time at home trying to take it easy on my back I've watched a whole lot of TV shows and movies. My favorite TV series lately are Pretty Little Liars (your Dad makes fun of me for that one!), anything CSI, Law&Order, NCIS, etc. Because of the time spent at home I am very grateful for cable TV lately! 
• Your Dad is the coolest father-to-be ever. He and I have so much fun talking about you together. We kinda just talk like you are here already cause hello, you already are in a way! If your Dad and I are cuddling and you decide you don't want his arm there you start wiggling around like a crazy baby! He can't feel you kick yet but it sure makes me laugh. You like your space already! 

This blog post is getting a little long but I can't go without telling you a few funny things your Dad has slipped up and said :)

The other day I was walking out of the bathroom and a rubber band flew by and hit my shoulder! Your Dad was laying there on the bed frozen! Once I saw his face we both started laughing. I turned to him and said "You totally just shot me!" Without skipping a beat he replied "How could I miss?!" Ummmm ... excuse me?! I laughed even harder! I ran over to the bed and tackled him. At least I tried to, I was laughing to hard to accomplish any sort of real threatening!

The other story I think I'll just post a picture of. 

Pretty dang funny huh :) Another thing that as my son you probably don't want to hear but ... Your Dad has always said he wish my butt was just a little bit bigger. Well, the other day I was making dinner and I could feel him looking at me. I turned around and asked him what exactly he was staring at. He replied with a smile on his face "Your butt is getting bigger!" Ahem? I laughed, rolled my eyes, and told him thanks alot! He said "No No No! Like, your butt is getting bigger, in a GOOD way!" I knew exactly what he meant but I still had to give him a hard time about it right?! Every once in a while I still make comments about it. Like instead of just scooting over on the couch I remind him that since I have such a big butt it takes time for me to scoot over :) And so on and so forth. 

As I'm sure you can tell your Dad and I laugh SO much and have a lot of fun together. We have a very lighthearted marriage. He is always there to listen and have serious conversations with but even when we do disagree on something we try to always stay positive and upbeat with each other and that, if you ask me, has been the recipe for success for your Dad and I. 

We sure love you little man. We can't wait to see your cute face at the doctors office on Thursday! Wiggle lots for us please! :)

21 Weeks!

Not a whole lot happened this week. Your Dad caught a really bad cold and was in bed for a few days. He has only been sick once since I've known him so when he says he's sick, I really know he is feeling pretty crappy. While he was sleeping the day away trying to get better I was taking efforts to not get sick! Since being pregnant my immune system has been pretty much non-existent. It seems like I've caught every sickness I've been in contact with. I loaded up with Vitamin C and did a whole lot of hand washing. Your Dad and I didn't even kiss for like 3 days. It was killing me! He'd only kiss me on the cheek to make sure I didn't catch anything. A sweet gesture, but I sure missed his kisses! Thankfully he it back to being his old busy self and I didn't get sick at all. Mission accomplished.

Miss Addisyn came over to hang out with me this week while Scott and Sarah went to a movie. I just love little ones. It makes me so excited to have a little one of my own to hang out with :) Addi and I hung out at home, ate lunch, brought your Dad lunch to work, then came back home and made some peanut butter bars. She has so much personality and is so dang happy. Love that little one.

We picked up the elk meat from the butcher this week! It was a little complicated because we didn't have enough room for all of it so we had to hunt down a freezer as well. We didn't want to spend too much money on one with my job being in limbo right now because of my hurt back. We found a good deal on one and with the military discount our family gets we got a great deal on one. I'm excited to try all of this meat! We are going to do a BBQ with friends this weekend and then we are going to invite the Stika's over on Sunday for elk roast. My mouth is watering thinking of all that meat already! Sure hope I love the taste! 

I'm sure feeling you move around a ton! We had to re schedule our ultrasound appointment because of a mix up with our insurance coverage. Turns out, we are still covered so we will get to look at you on camera at the end of next week. Your Dad and I can't wait! The doctor will measure your growth in your arms, legs, head, and chest to make sure that you are still looking healthy and strong. I'd sure love if you'd wiggle around for us! 

Cow Elk and a New Year!

It's official little man. You and I have been hanging out for 20 weeks! I have to admit, the past few weeks I have been feeling a little more nervous for you to get here! It's going to be a huge change for your Dad and I. It's a little scary but I am SO excited at the same time. Being a mom isn't for wussies, and your mother is definitely not a wuss! :)

This past week was an exciting week! The biggest hi-light? Your Dad finally filled his cow elk tag! He and a few of his friends bought tags earlier this year. When they bought them they didn't realize that most of the land was private land. After contacting a lot of people they found someone who would let them hunt on their land, which was VERY nice of them by the way. Well, the cow elk hunt ran from the middle of November to  December 31st. Your dad and his friend had been out 2-3 times previously with no luck. Finally on December 26th (talk about last minute!) they got a phone call from the land owner saying the snowfall had brought a whole bunch of elk onto the land. Grandpa Kelly, your Dad, Scott, and a few other guys headed up. They ended up filling BOTH the tags around 4:00. The only bad part about that was then they had to gut 2 cow elk, drag them to the 4 wheelers then drag them a few miles to the truck, then load them both in the truck, take them to the house and hang them both. LOTS of work! Your Dad and Grandpa Kelly weren't done with their night till about 1 in the morning. Hard work but sure worth all that meat! The next day we hauled it to a butcher in Tooele with Grandpa Jody. They are going to let it hang in the cooler until next Friday (apparently that makes the meat more tender and less gamey tasting) then they'll butcher it up and we will have a whole bunch of meat for us and plenty to share with family as well. Here are some pictures.

Those are some pretty big animals huh! They make your 6'5" Dad look tiny when he is crouching behind it!

Your Dad and I bought a new couch this week! Before we had the couch that came with the apartment (which was super uncomfy might I add) and a love sac. Our landlord picked up the couch and we gave the love sac to Kelly and Mollie and we moved the new one in. I'm in LOVE! 

We got these couches just in time for our New Years party at our place. We started out the night by going to dinner with Scott, Sarah, and little miss Addisyn. We went to Wingers. That has been one of my big cravings lately. They never let this pregnant lady down! :) After that we came back to our place and Grandma and Grandpa came over. We had chocolate marshmallow fondue with all sorts of things to dip like fresh fruit, cookies, and cinnamon bears. I'd also made a cherry strudel and peanut butter bars. Plus a whole bunch of soda of course. Sure was a sugar filled evening! We watched some performances that were being aired on TV and played a couple games. We laughed SO hard! Us oldies even made it till midnight! :P I'm sad I didn't get more pictures of the adults but I did get a few pictures of the night.

Your Grandpa Kelly is going to be the best Grandpa ever! He has always loved kiddos and they love him right back. Your Uncle Taylor is the same way. Plus your Dad is a baby hog lately wherever we are! :P You've got some pretty awesome guys that are excited to meet you and show you how to do all sorts of boy things!

Here are the newest additions to your nursery. I've been keeping my eyes open and finding things here and there to make your nursery just perfect. It sure is coming together! I'm so excited to see you playing in there!

Here is a picture of my hot date the other day :) Your Dad took me to Texas Roadhouse for some tasty steak and killer rolls. I ate way too much food, as I'm sure you could tell when you got all squished in there, but it was sure tasty! (P.S. Your Dad only looks miserable because he hates pictures. He was kind enough to let me take one though haha) What a stinker. 

We sure love you little man! I love feeling you kick and wiggle inside of me. My belly is feeling a lot different over the past couple weeks. I can tell you are growing and moving a whole bunch more. I can't wait till your Dad can put his hand on my tummy and feel you move too. Until then, I get to be selfish and the only one lucky enough to feel you and your active self.